I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize