I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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