You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
