Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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