Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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