whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
