about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
