I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize