bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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