I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
