no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
