a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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