end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
