dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
