Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
