Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My balls are so social today.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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