nut hugger
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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