we made out on top of his cat.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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