I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
