i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I can't turn off my feet"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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