We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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