normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
