the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
