Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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