i just google imaged poop.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
