just tell him i said nine months
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
