nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
