she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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