I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
