So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
