we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
