Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
