at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize