So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
