We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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