Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
