My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
