Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
