I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
