The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
