i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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