I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
