This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
