Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
