I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
