I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
