i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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