you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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