he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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