my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
