hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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