My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
