i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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