cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
