So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I have post one night stand depression
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
