Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You're like the curious george of whores
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
