forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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