Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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